weekend in the blue...

SO starts the weekend in my little hole in the ground... the (almost) husband is away for work so my anxiety levels are thru the roof... mysteriously 2 packets of biscuits have disappeared outta my pantry and I'm fairly certain I didn't eat them all... at least i hope i didnt...

what am i supposed to do all weekend... i have no car, 2 preschoolers and a preggo teen to share the house with,... i have a tonne of laundry due to discovering rats in my hot water cupboard... i mean seriously!!!! they pooped on EVERY spare blanket and quilt and duvet I own >.< then they ate most of the stuff in my survival E kit,.... thats like $400 i now need to spend to replace the damn thing!!!!! who the hell eats soap and plastic bags and emergency essentials... i HATE rats.... nasty little creatures...

take me as you find me,,,

Le sigh, since when did Emo take over my little corner of the world... I should be elated right now... ecstatic even, instead i feel half  dead and three quarters empty... and not the 'good' kind of empty...

i try not to blog on my Emo days because i believe no one should have to read about my bullshit waah sessions but I need to clear the fog just a little... I desperately want to feel happy again... but i feel like theres something gripping my already crushed heart in its manky festering clutches ready to rip it still feebly beating from my heaving chest...

Why wont the cankerous Abyss just swallow me up already....

Free to good home,

2 children.

both have selective hearing this means they wont listen when told to do something but if you happen to mention the word, lolly, or any of its corresponding counterparts such as treat, ice cream or new toy they hear fine... they both get into everything your don't want them to touch and will happily spill a whole bottle of milk on your floor then play in it. the oldest on throws food and then blames it on the youngest and also starts all the fights... the boy will pee on your carpet or poop in your garden... so not quite house trained... they both have potty mouths and will swear at you and then laugh...

they wont clean up after themselves and like to backchat due to politically correct parenting bullshit i've had enough of the way they treat me... so I'm giving them away...

A weekend away...

I just had to take a break from reality... well a half break anyway, so we took the kids to the snow... something that I had never done before... we booked ourselves in to a quaint little Motel with awesome service and great facilities I recommend it to anyone who ever gets the chance to stay in Taupo, stay at the Chelmswood Motel, its on the lakefront and is truly awesome...

I really don't understand MEN, it's almost like they ENJOY pissing us off.... the worst part is the fact I'm pissed off with him for doing something right.... in 5 years this is the 1st time we have actually felt like a family, looking all cute and picture perfect... If i have to be brutally honest I was thinking of leaving before we went away, it wasn't because i don't love him and there was never another man involved in any way I just truly believed he would be better off without me.... 

If cyber looks could Kill...

Is having a really difficult time right now. I base everything in my daily life on good news in my sanity corner. I feel lost and Confused. and anxious at the lack of response from those close to me. How is it you can draw close to someone who shares your pains and is always so Loving and kind to you whilst they hurt so much too. NZ has been ripped apart by the tragedy in our beautiful Garden City. we all scramble to send off anything we can spare be it a few extra dollars out of our wallets. or donated food and basic household items. Yet my heart aches for one or two words from a survivor in a different part of the world to me. She is a tower of strength even when she feels like she is at her weakest. My day doesn't feel right without hearing from her. it's been a week since you last replied to my emails that is the longest time you have ever been away from my inbox, be it directly or indirectly through those who can access you more readily than I. did you know there are literally dozens of places i have searched for info. I don't want to feel so empty. (now i sound like a crazy psycho stalker) I promise I'm not. Just genuinely concerned for your safety. I follower, I reason to keep going. DANG IT ALL!!!


Please Loving Grand Creator Keep her safe from harm. Surround her with your love to keep her head above water. Missing you Sandi. Please find us again soon.

A week of nothingness...

Well, not much to report to my 1 and only follower who I have been diligently following and worrying about. The best part is no1 can snoop in here.

So much to say and no words to make it all ok. I would trade places anytime to make this all go away. If I had endless resources and wasn't afraid of flying I'd get on a plane  just to meet this amazing woman who has strength that I just can't comprehend. You are a fighter, and the whole GLOBE has LOVE for you. sure some of them are a little new to following you but the most part is you are being Loved, and Encouraged, and Supported in everything you do. You give courage to those who are fighting too. they want to be YOU.

HATING ON PLANTS...

itchy watery leaky eyes :( bunged up drippy nose... yip it's that time of year again HAYFEVER TIME is so damn over it, I'm sore and tired and irritable... please someone fix me!!!!